


It's Now or Never

by Foreversearching246



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M, Past Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:47:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22632925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Foreversearching246/pseuds/Foreversearching246
Summary: Set after episode 5:6. Daryl and Carol are in pursuit of the car with the white cross. Hoping it will lead them to Beth, but will this finally make Daryl face his true feelings for Carol. I do not or claim to own any of these characters or the plots of this show. All rights belong to to The Walking Dead & the creators of the show. M for smut later on** I know we are way past this season but I recently found this story I started on another forum & I'd like to finish it.
Relationships: Daryl Dixon/Carol Peletier
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	1. Let me

Set after 5:6 (Daryl's internal monologue)  
Daryl and Carol had been driving for what seemed like hours. Making sure to not follow too close to the car with the white cross. Daryl was sure this would be the key to finding Beth. He hates that he was the one to lose her, hates that Maggie has already lost Hershel, and now Beth is missing. His only bright spot in this whole fucked up world is Carol. Before the prison fell, their friendship had started to developed into something more. He knew she was different from everyone else to him. Of course they were all family but Carol was much for then that. It took thinking she had died in the tombs along with T-Dogg. Finding her in that cell made it clear to him. He loved this beautifully broken woman who knew he was just as broken.

"You're quite tonight, Something on your mind?" Carol asks as if she already didn't know the answer. It was Beth.  
"Naw just hoping we get were we are going before we run out of gas." He could see that she didn't believe him but turned away to stare out the window again. Daryl hates lying to her but he's not ready to share his feelings for her. He's never done this before. Growing up with Merle was a revolving door of loose woman but none you'd make a life with. Relationships in the pre-zombie world scared him, but relationships in this walker filled world absolutely terrified him.

(Carols internal monologue)  
Carol decided not to push it. He made it clear that he didn't want to talk about it. Before they were separated after the prison they had something. Though it never crossed the physical side, but things were growing between them. During her daily chores she'd catch him out of the corner of eye watching her. Not the in the creepy makes you uncomfortable way. In a strange way it made her feel safer than any fence ever could. He spent every minute he wasn't on watch or hunting helping her or just sitting in silence as she cared for Rick's daughter Judith. This silence was different. It was almost deafening. Time doesn't move like it used to before the world went to shit. I'm not even sure how long we were apart for but it was obviously long enough for him to move on. I don't know what happened between Beth and him, but he was definitely different. I can't say I blame him. In this world we lose so many people that there isn't a point in grieving anymore. We didn't know if we'd find each other again or if either of us was alive.

Daryl knew he needed to say something. I knew she had to be thinking the worse but everything I thought I should say wouldn't come out. I didn't want to push her to a place I'm not sure she wants to go, but I can't lose her not like this, not when there is a real threat out there. I can't lose her because I'm not man enough to face when needs to be said.  
"Hey, you hungry? I've got some food in the bag in the backseat floor." "We haven't eaten since we started this drive."  
"No." Carol says with a hint of sadness to her voice."But if you're hungry I'll grab you something." Fuck he knew that tone. He knew she was hurt. "Look they heading into Atlanta. This place looks worse then when we left it." Daryl says as he stares out at the wrecked skyscrapers and miles of abandoned vehicles.  
"It belongs to the dead. There's more of them now then there is us left." I hate when she talked this way. It feels like she is giving up the fight. That she has accepted her fate to either become a walker or die by the hands of one. The car comes to a stop at an intersection and just idles as if waiting on something. Worrying that they had been spotted Daryl started to play out exit strategies to make sure Carol was safe. The sound of a walker slamming into Carol's window brought him back to reality. He knew the people ahead of them would hear the banging and snarls of the walker. Before he had the chance to react Carol has rolled her window down halfway and drove her knife into the walkers skull.

"You OK?' "I'm fine Daryl. We need to get off the street." He knew she was right.

"Find somewhere to hold up for the night. It's too dark out here."  
"We'll pick this up in the morning."  
"We'll move once they go." Replied Daryl

After a few minutes the car turns left and disappears into the night. He knew the car only had about ten or so minutes before it would be completely out of gas and it be walking from there. Every place they drove by became more apparent that finding shelter was going to be almost impossible. Like he predicted the car shut down in the middle of the road on what used to be considered a rougher side of Atlanta.

"Guess we are walking from here." Daryl said with a half sorry smile.  
"Come on. I think I know a place. It's only a few streets over." Carol said grabbing her bag and heading for an alleyway 'Wait, stick to the streets. We can see better." Daryl whispered cutting off her path.  
She knew he was right but didn't care. She was tired of pretending things were OK. She just wanted to get there and put some space between them for a while.  
Daryl saw the conflict on her face and didn't wait for an answer. He grabbed her hand and pulled her behind him. They only spoke when she told him which direction to turn in. Fifteen minutes later they were here. The doors were boarded up and looked to have not been messed with. Good sign he thought to himself.

"How did you know about this place?" Daryl asked.  
"Sophia and I came here for a few nights." she said never taking her eyes off the door like she was avoiding letting the memories of her daughter come seeping into her mind.  
"Let's go. It should be empty." Carol said walking towards the door. After a few minutes of Daryl fiddling with the barricaded door while Carol kept watch. Finally the wood gave way. They knew if any walkers were in the main entrance they would have already been attracted by the noise. Turning on their flashlights to scan the dark corridors when a sign catches his eye. "Atlanta's woman and children Shelter" so she had fled from her piece of shit husband at least once. Thinking about him still made his blood boil. Heading down the hall Carol said lead to sleeping areas.  
"We have to go through the office to get the keys to the doors." She barely said above a whisper. After collecting the keys, Carol turns to a door and listens but it's nothing but silence.  
I couldn't help but notice how familiar with this place she was. How many times had she ran here with her daughter to only go back home to her own personal hell. Scanning their flashlight down the hallway to a room Daryl was sure she knew very well when the unmistakable snarls and banging two doors down. As they approached the shadows of what was a mother and daughter danced behind the frosted glass Clawing to get out. Carol pulls her knife and reaches for the door.

"No, you don't have to." She just stares at the door seeing what could have been her future. She reaches for the handle again. Daryl reaches out and pulls her close to him. "No, let's go." Carol just nodded and walked to the room she used to call home every time Ed's outbursts became to much or she needed some time to recover from one of his more extensive beatings. She always went back though. She was an idiot in her opinion.


	2. I'll always find you

The room was just how she remembered it. Bunk beds off against one wall. A desk with countless books on how it's never your fault and how to escape it completely. Carol just rolled her eyes and headed to the bottom mattress placing her bag down.

"I'll take first watch. You should get some sleep." She said while taking some supplies out of her pack.  
"Not much of a need. We boarded the door back up, locked all the doors behind us. We'll hear someone before they know we are here." He said trying to gauge her mood. He knew she was trying to avoid talking.  
"I'll take watch Daryl." She replied staring everywhere but at him.  
"Carol, talk to me. You wont even look at me."  
"If you're not going to sleep then you can take watch and I'll sleep." She all but hissed as she sat down and laid back on the bed so she was staring at the bottom of the top bunk. Hoping he'd just let it go. But she knew he wouldn't. He knew her too well to let this go on much longer.

"Fuck, here we go." He thought to himself. Walking over and lying down beside her. He knew he needed to just man up. Grow some balls as Merle would have said. No one has forever in this world anymore.  
"Carol, I know something is wrong, talk to me." hoping she would make this as easy as possible .  
"I'm fine, Daryl, faster we get this done the faster you get Beth back with you." She still isn't looking at him.  
"You think I'm doing this because I want Beth with me?" He growled feeling the anger start to build. "You think that I'm risking my life, not just my life but yours for a selfish reason?"  
"No, I don't think that. I know you Daryl, you can't leave anyone, but I know you found something in Beth while you two were out there."  
"That's what you think?" Feeling like he's been kicked in the stomach. He suspected she felt this way but actually hearing her say it tore him apart.  
"You think that just because we lost each other for a while means I said fuck it! " That you were probably dead and that I'd never find you again?" We always find a way back to each other." He could feel the shift in her mood. Knew she was trying to process what he's saying or how to tell him it wasn't that way for her.

Carol didn't know how to take this information. She knew she had to chose her words carefully. Knowing saying the wrong thing would cause him to withdrawal further away. Most of the time he's like a caged animal ready to snap with everyone but her.  
"You don't owe me anything Daryl, Eventually there isn't going to be a next time. We won't always be able to find our way back to each other.""I didn't know if I'd find you again. I didn't know if you'd even want me to."  
"I'll always find you Carol, I found you when the farm was overrun, I found you in those damn tombs, and we found each other after the prison." "You risked everything to save us from that boxcar."Daryl couldn't believe he was actually saying this out loud and Carol couldn't believe what she was hearing.  
" We're OK Daryl.""It's late, we should get some sleep before the sun comes up." "Goodnight."  
"Goodnight Carol."  
There was so much more Carol wanted to say, so much more she wanted to ask but she didn't want to push him too far. For now she'd be content just having him sleeping next to her.

Daryl knew there would be more they'd have to deal with but they'd cross that bridge when the time came. He couldn't stop thinking about what has lead them to this point. How two years ago she was just some stranger in a camp hoping for another day to being the most important person in his life. He knew she could handle herself but he's always felt a strong urge to protect her. Daryl had noticed the times they were running from place to place before they found the prison. On his watch, he'd find himself making sure he was close to her. He told himself it was in case the needed to run in a hurry. He'd be right there with her, but he knew it was more than that. He knew it didn't matter if it was a run down house. A car on the side of the road.It was home as long as she's right next to him.


	3. Forgive me

Carol awoke the next morning with Daryl's words still floating in her head. What was he trying to tell her, was she reading too much into this. She knew as soon as her eyes opened that he wasn't there. Not that it was unusual. He'd always be gone before she woke up. "One day it be nice to actually wake up next to him." Carol thought to herself climbing out of bed. Glancing out the window, she could swear she saw smoke. Knowing instantly what he had done for her. Sparing her from having to see another child lost to this cruel world.

Daryl could hear her walking towards him as he laid the body of what once a loving mother now given way to emotionless killing machine. He didn't like to think of walkers as people, made it harder to kill them without guilt. Even though he knew it had to be done. It didn't make it any easier putting down something that once was a child. It reminded him too much of the day Sophia stumbled out of the barn. Having to watch the only woman he's gave a damn about crumble to pieces in his arms. He's blamed himself for not bringing her back. He should have went after her. Not Rick. He never would have left her in that creek. He would have carried her if he had to. She would have be safely in Carols arm right now. Not another nameless grave. Carol's always said a thousand times that she doesn't blame him but how could she not. He promised he'd bring her home and he failed her once again.

"Thank you." She softly whispered.  
"Welcome, don't always got to be you. Let's grab something to eat and head out. See what we can see." He said not wanting to drag up too many painful memories.  
They ate in silence, only exchanging the occasional glance and forced smiles.  
"Great this is a great start to the day" Daryl thought. Hoping it was just the walker family thats damped her mood and not what he said last night. He can't pull away now. He needs her too much. Daryl knows becoming too attached to someone is the world is dangerous. No one is guaranteed forever. Rick lost Lori, Maggie lost her daddy. He knew losing her would be the death of him, but he's starting to stop being afraid of it. If they go out, they'll go together. It's always been them. Right from the start.

Carol couldn't take the silence any longer. She could see the struggle behind his eyes. She knew he wanted to say something. He needed to say something but just couldn't get it out. He couldn't take that leap just yet, but she could. No matter how terrified she was. No matter how far she knew this would push him. He always come back eventually. He needed to know. Today could very well be their last day. The cities are always overrun with the dead. Eventually they'll run out of bullets or have to split up to only be backed into a corner they can't possibly escape.  
"Dar" was all Carol was able to get out before a gunshot rang out. Rushing up and grabbing his bow heading to the window. He could see the car they had been previously following with what looked like two cops firing at a few walkers. "Dumb asses, don't they know that will just bring more in. Let's go before the streets are crawling." Daryl said while gathering up what supplies they had needed the night before.

Once out on the street, they were surprised at the lack of walkers heading towards the previous gun fire. Maybe this area wasn't as bad as other places. Maybe they've all pushed out into outlaying areas in search of food.  
"Stick against the buildings, don't be seen. Don't fire a shot unless you have too, use your knife."  
"I know how to be invisible Daryl, not my first time." She said scanning the alleys for the dead or worse the living.


	4. Keep telling yourself that

Something isn't right. Where are all the walkers. The cities were crawling with them. Why not this area? Carol couldn't shake the feeling of being followed. I found myself believing she was right. Every corner we turned I half expected to find someone waiting.  
"Daryl we need a game plan."" We are exposed out here."  
"Just need to get a little closer. "Use one of those high rises as a vantage point." "See what we are dealing with." "That one there,we can use the bridge to see the entire city."  
The climb to the top of the building was the easy part. The bridge head other surprises. "What happened here?" Carol hadn't realized she asked out loud. The bodies of walkers still trapped in their sleeping bags. The obvious bullet holes to everywhere but their heads. " We need to move before they draw too much attention. " "Take out the one's closest to use."Don't waste time on the others."  
Making our way across the catwalk we scanned the surrounding buildings for any movement. Not even the dead was stirring. It's like the knew something we didn't. "Good thing we skipped breakfast" Daryl joked as we slipped between the crack of two chained doors leading to another building.   
"There, that van right there.""It has the same white cross as the others." "It's some kind of lead." Let's fill up these bottles before we head out". "Mmhm" Daryl grunted studying a painting hung on wall.  
"Looks like some dog sat in paint and just wiped his ass all up it."  
"Really, I kind of like it." Carol replies   
"Stop."   
"What?" Carol asks defensively. "You don't know me."she stated.  
"Yep you keep telling yourself that."  
Once again it was awkward silence on your walk back to the chained doors. Carol slipped through rifle first. Reaching my crossbow out.   
"Daryl don't."   
"Stand up and lay down your cross bow."


	5. Drop

I should have went first. I never should have let her go. It should have been me. My mind is turning trying to put myself between him and her. "I just want your weapons." "No ones got to get hurt here."  
Daryl laid down his crossbow shifting as close to Carol as he could.  
The kid gathers up the discarded weapons."I'm sorry, you look tough. You'll survive" He says as he slits open the tents releasing the entrapped walkers.  
Making quick work of the incrouching walkers between the two of us. "Come on, let's find a way out of here."   
Finding a door was simple. Opening it was something else entirely. Daryl using his knife went to work on the door handle hoping to pry it open.  
"Without our weapons we could die. "Beth could die. You could die. I don't want you to die. I don't want anyone to die. That's why I had to leave. I just had to be somewhere else." She rambled on while Daryl   
"You're not somewhere else. You're right here. Trying" he all but shouts at her.  
"Look you're not who you were and neither am I." She sighs grabbing up his discarded backpack inadvertently knocking out a book "Treating Survivors of Childhood Abuse. Her bravado cracks. He's still just as haunted by his past as she is. He snatches the book from her shoving it into his backpack.   
"Let's go." He grunts without looking back.   
Being out in the open city without weapons was suicide. Around every corner could be a herd. Moving in silence on the overpass to not attract more walker than the small group they already have.   
Popping open the truck of the van.  
"Let's make this quick."  
"Wait, it's unstable. I'm lighter."  
Ignoring her sound reason as he climbs in as she follows suit. The van sways under the weight of both of them. Climbing into the drivers seat looking through the stacks of discarded papers that might pertain a clue as to their homebase. Finding nothing but old city maps.   
"There's more coming. We're going to have to fight through." Carol says hurriedly.   
"Yeah, I see 'em. He responds flipping over the old hospital gurney.  
"We have to go." She pleads   
"GMH? What's that? A hospital?" He says  
"Grady Memorial maybe." Carol replies as she climbs onto the overpass   
"Grady? White crosses? Might be where they are holding up." Hope laced  
in his voice as he follows.  
There are too many of them. Carol empties her gun in a matter of seconds. She can feel Daryl at her back stabbing at any close enough.  
"Daryl!" The fear evident in her voice.  
"Go! Go! Go!" He shouts circling the trunk to ensure she makes it in safe as walkers are closing the gap between them and himself. Diving into the open doors, kicking a walker out of the path of the shutting doors.  
The growling was almost deafening. The van sways as the dead crash against it.   
"Anything we can use." She's shouting but I can barely hear her.   
Scanning the floor "Nothing but what we got."  
Realizing their only way out is down. Taking as much care as possible to not further rock the van as they settle into the front seats.  
"Alright, buckle up." trying to mask the panic in his voice.Bracing his arms on the dashboard as the van starts to slide further off the overpass. I feel her grasp my hand. As our eyes lock for a spilt second I'm praying I didn't just curse this beautiful woman to death.  
There's so much I want to say but I can't. Not like this, not like I'm saying goodbye.  
"You hold on." As the van plunges to the ground


	6. We Made Good Time Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a short update this time.

The impact was brutal. Daryl was sure his brain was still bouncing around in his head. His ears were ringing, but he was sure he could almost make out Carol's ragged breathing of "We're ok. We're ok." The sounds of several bodies hitting the roof snapping Daryl to his senses. Willing his body to move.Climbing out as he feels the van shift as Carol exits. Going around to meet her. She's unsteady on her feet. She's hurt, but trying to hide it. Slipping my arm under her shoulder feeling her weight sag against my chest as we walk towards the cityscape.  
" Here." reaching out his canteen of water trying to gauge just how bad it is.  
"I'm fine." She replies making no effort to take it.  
"Prove it." His voice challenging her. She's yet to move her right arm.  
Looking up in annoyance at his pestering, she takes hold of the outstretched canteen. As he suspected she can't use both arms to rise it to her mouth.  
"How bad is it? Not sure he wants to know.  
"I've had worse." She replies.  
Leaning forward as she moves her shirt over exposing the seatbelt shaped bruise across her chest. Instant regret spreading throughout his whole being. Knowing he is the reason she's in pain. Knowing she's only here because she's following him on this suicide mission.  
Shaking his head, "damn that was stupid."  
"We made good time down." She jokes trying to lighten the mood.  
Scoffing as he sits next to her small frame.  
"There's only three blocks between us and Grady." She observes.  
"We need to find someplace up high. Scope it out, see what we can see. He says looking around for the perfect place.  
"You really think we will find out what we need to know by just watching?"  
"It's where we start." "Come on." He says gathering their supplies.  
Entering a building one block over from Grady. Making quick work of the lone walker unable to get to its feet.  
"It's them." She says peering out the window.  
"All right," handing her some chips he found. "Let's see what we can see."


End file.
